Is Cannabis a Band-Aid for Mental Health and Wellness? My Personal Story.
Mental health is “a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.”
The World Health Organization
Please know that I am speaking solely of my personal experience, this is my personal story. Everyone is different and affected differently by cannabis, just as we’re all affected differently by our own daily problems and traumas.
Today I’m going to share with you how cannabis continues to help me reach and maintain optimal wellness. It helps with physical symptoms, yet perhaps the biggest way I benefit from cannabis is my mental wellness. I’ve always dealt with bouts of anxiety and depression, they span back to my childhood. The funny thing is, cannabis isn’t even something I consumed growing up.
Back in my high school days, I only tried it once- it wasn’t for me. I grew up during the “war on drugs” commercial campaigns. Hard to forget a hot frying pan representing drugs and an egg representing the brain. They fry the cracked egg to a crisp. The closing voice simply says “this is your brain on drugs, any questions?” Nope, none for me thank you very much! Which is why I chuckle as I write to you about cannabis today.
The video below is a play on the original War on Drugs egg commercial. This version addresses the realities of the effects on communities of color especially.
Enter CBD- it seemed like a good option for me. All the benefits of cannabis without the high. I actually almost exclusively used CBD while my daughters were in high school. As many know, parenting has its challenging periods, and for us High School was it. It was hard to find a healthy balance between wanting to keep my girls safe and giving them the space to spread their wings and test flight. So instead of prescriptions, I enlisted CBD. My initial purchase was made online through Plain Jane.
Plain Jane was just starting out and only had a handful of options at the time. When my order arrived, I was so excited! I felt like such a rebel. It looked and smelled like real deal “illegal” cannabis. I made my next purchase at my local smoke shop, where I could get all the tools needed, including a bong (which is still my favorite way of consuming). Oh, and some hemp wick to avoid inhaling the lighter fluid chemicals and flavor.
Of the over 100 cannabinoids in cannabis, we know that tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) is a psychotropic cannabinoid. However, cannabidiol (CBD) is not. Some other cannabinoids we’re more familiar with are Cannabigerol (CBG), and Cannabinol (CBN). Each cannabinoid on its own is powerful yet magical combined. Consuming the full spectrum of cannabinoids and terpenes such as in a full spectrum product or flower form. Using the whole plant/flower produces what is called the entourage effect. The entourage effect is where it’s at!
When Friday arrived, I was so excited to come home and test out my new stash, which arrived via USPS straight to my mailbox! That evening, I smoked a bowl of CBD, grabbed a glass of wine, and just allowed myself to decompress mentally and physically. I had the best sleep I’d had in weeks and woke up more refreshed, energized, and in a lighter mood. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if it was a placebo effect or not.
I continued tapping into the stash. Regardless of, placebo effect or not, I enjoyed smoking it. As the weeks passed, I noticed there was a decrease in anxiety eating too. I could engage in more open dialogue, with less judgment and or fear. Not being in a constant state of anxiety helped me to see and interact with situations and people in my life more organically. My anxiety became something more manageable, and I could make my decisions from a more grounded place- internally.
The added benefit of CBD was that I didn’t have to worry about failing a random drug test at work. Since the standard drug test panels look for Delta-9 THC (technically the only “illegal” cannabinoid). In addition, I only purchased from Plain Jane because they lab test each batch and consumers have access to the lab results.
It became a ritual. I’d come home every day feed the pets, let them out, smoke a bowl, and start cooking dinner. More mindful practices like yoga and meditation became infused into my routine. Check out 3 Must-Try Cannabis & Yoga Pairings for Optimal Health & Wellness.
I started feeling more joyful, more balanced, more like myself. Soon I started dosing at different times and with different strains, some uplifting strains for the daytime, and some more sedating strains during the night. My approach to CBD became much more entwined with my teas and mindful practices. After all, I drink lavender tea to help me sleep; I drink peppermint tea after a meal to help my digestion, and I love a cup of earl gray tea or a cup of coffee in the morning to help me get going.
Naturally, a sort of morning and evening ritual developed around the paring of CBD with tea. It’s evolved since adding THC to my wellness arsenal.
During the Pandemic, I became ill and benefited from medical marijuana. It helped with pain management, abdominal spasms, joint pain, nausea, and as an appetite stimulant. CBD wasn’t helping with some of the new symptoms. In addition, CBD can also be an appetite suppressant.
Today, I know this. Cannabis has not been a band-aid for my mental health. It’s a tool I use not to escape from a situation but to be more present in it. Cannabis helps me be more aware of the moving parts in my daily life, as well as be more in tune with myself. Today I feel better equipped to address situations before the anxiety around them becomes too large. I better understand my version of anxiety and depression, its appeal, and its pitfalls. Keeping my mind from racing with anxiety is much like taming the monkey mind during meditation. Keeping my anxiety as a backseat passenger that doesn’t get to navigate my travel is empowering. I can show up more fully in all my interactions.
Keeping my anxiety as a backseat passenger that doesn’t get to navigate my travel is empowering. I can show up more fully in all my interactions.
Even the physical pain. I’m able to breathe into it, much like you’re taught to do during labor contractions. Sometimes we just need to allow ourselves a little breather. Breathing into it and not running away is the best approach. I’m able to tap into the emotion, to the person, or to the problem with more objectivity. I can see more wholly and clearly the situation at hand. I feel a sense of clarity when I’m not shrouded with the veil of anxiety or pain.
I actually very recently had a conversation with a friend about anxiety. She couldn’t really relate and didn’t understand how debilitating anxiety could be. The best description I could offer at the moment was this:
For me, anxiety and depression are co-conspirators. Anxiety at any moment can show up as my heart racing, my thoughts racing, my palms sweating, some repetitive thought pattern, or even a high pitch sound in my ears. Now, when that anxiety seeps into me, it can immobilize me. It’s one of the worst feelings, to feel paralyzed, unable to do anything when all you want to do is run or claw out of your skin. During extended periods of anxiety, the anxiety becomes enveloped by the familiar blanket of depression. With depression, the urge to crawl out of my skin is subdued, numbed. The black hole of depression can feel deep. It’s comfortable for a while, it almost feels safe. But the temporary relief found in depression turns into another version of anxiety for me. The anxiety that I’ll never feel joy again, that I won’t be able to get myself out of the darkness of depression. Seeing life happen around me becomes painful when I lack the ability to connect to it.
Cannabis is part of my overall wellness. I no longer hold shame around saying that. Cannabis allowed me the space and breath to seek additional support, such as therapy. I have a better understanding of what helps me physically and mentally.
Many situations can trigger anxiety for me and others. But did you know that everyday products such as caffeine, decongestants, or albuterol can trigger anxiety? I also better understand that food and mood are interrelated.
If you struggle with anxiety or depression, please know that you’re not alone even when it feels like it. Life is worth living, even if it doesn’t feel like it all the time. Sometimes we just need help to adjust our frame of reference.
Please seek help. If you need to talk to someone right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800–273–8255. They’re available to help 24/7.
Remember, I’m not here to promise that cannabis is a miracle cure, but I sure as hell am going to share the many wonderful qualities of it! It may or may not be right for you specifically, and that’s totally okay too. If you have questions, though, ask them! I am here for you.
As always, the information provided on Mary J’s Apothecary is for educational purposes only and does not substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult a medical professional or healthcare provider if you’re seeking medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment.
So, until our next sesh, stay well and stay elevated!
A small commission may result from affiliate links in this article, at no additional cost to you. Go take a peek, these are some awesome products!
