Ladies, Are You Giving Way Too Many F*cks?

Most of us struggle throughout our lives by giving too many f*cks in situations where f*cks do not deserve to be given.

MARK MANSON

This past weekend I enjoyed a trip to the bookstore. Don’t you just love the smell of books mixed in with the aroma of coffee? For this visit, I partook of a tasty Potent Pineapple Elite Cartridge by The Clear, it’s so good! I walked into the bookstore, ready to find something worthy of putting my phone on airplane mode. One book, in particular, stood out and is the inspiration for today’s post. I’m sure you’ve all seen it, it’s “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.”

The reason this book is so key to our conversation requires a bit of a backstory. I was recently scrolling through social media and realized that with the legalization of cannabis for medicinal and recreational use, comes much stigma for canna-women, and especially canna-moms. I recently saw a post asking if it was okay to expose children to cannabis. Not consuming it! Simply having them help in the care of the growing plant like we do tomatoes. In addition, share with them why it’s medicine and why it’s used by mom or dad. Educating them on why it’s helpful to mom, dad, or grandma. And why it may not be right for them just yet, educating our kids is important. Cannabis is not going away y’all so let them hear it from you, not some stoner kid looking to get high af.

I was a closet canna-mom before I knew that was even a thing. I partook when my kids were young. My inner circle knew this, but of course, it was not something I shared with my kids. For a few reasons, starting with the fact that we lived in a cannabis prohibition state and my very social, very chatty girls attended a Christian school. It was a fairly private activity. Instead of having a glass of wine to unwind at night, I would tuck them in, shower, smoke a bowl, and just relax. Relax my body, relax my mind, and just be. This was before I knew what Sativa and Indica were. I just knew that some batches got me to settle into the couch and gave me the best sleep ever! Other batches had me cleaning, organizing, and cooking a meal from scratch that would have brought a tear of pride to my grandmother’s eye.

Looking back, it was those Indica batches that locked me down and gave me the munchies. Along with the munchies came the midnight trips to the kitchen. It was like my kids had a sensor that showed when I walked into the kitchen. Without fail they would “casually” walk-in, fake yawn, and ask “what are you doing, why are you up?” this all played out with us, cozy in bed watching an episode of whatever show we were into. We watched a lot of Bizarre Foods episodes while we munched on popcorn and Nutella or cheese and grape jelly quesadillas, or whatever bizarre concoction they could come up with. Honestly, I love that a “relaxed me” could appreciate the magnitude of what these moments meant. They mean everything later in life. Being present with my kids has been and remains one of the biggest gifts as a mother.

So, ladies, let’s talk about this next quote. This one here is key. It sort of makes me think of the flight attendant talking about the oxygen mask, and how you should place it on yourself first.

…if you go around giving a f*ck about everything and everyone without conscious thought or choice- well then, you’re going to get f*cked.

MARK MANSON

True. So true. Last Thanksgiving, just hours after launching my blog, we traveled to gather with family and friends. I was so stressed out! This was the first time we had a gathering since the start of the pandemic. Also, this was the first time I was out as a cannabis consumer and a medical marijuana patient. I medicated, a lot. Now to be clear, I had spoken with and gotten permission to do so from the homeowner- otherwise, I would not have smoked cannabis openly- and by openly I mean in the detached garage or shed. Yet, with all of that, I got the “looks”. No questions, no comments, just slightly raised eyebrows as I trailed the freshly toked perfume of an especially skunky flower gifted to me.

Every time I walked back into the house, I’d feel almost ashamed about being open to my cannabis use. Truth is, I don’t know how they felt about it. I didn’t ask, and they didn’t offer their feelings either. None of us addressed the elephant in the room. For all I know, they were waiting for me to invite them on “a walk”. Not likely, but fun to think of! Which has me wondering if I felt like this as the mother of adults- how are moms of young children feeling? Honestly, I regret this. This was a missed opportunity to share with them what cannabis is to me and many others.

Here is the thing: the glass of wine or martini we’ve all enjoyed with our child in our lap is also a drug. So why shouldn’t we be as open about cannabis as we are about alcohol? Specifically, in the non-prohibition states? After all, as of this writing, 37 states and four territories offer medical marijuana. It’s being legalized in a state near you!

So, mamas, we have so many things to figure out, navigate, and assimilate to as women and mothers. We need to figure out what helps us show up the way we want to show up for our kids, our spouses, and ourselves. Is it smoking, vaping, CBD baths, yoga, meditation, or treating yourselves to a vanilla bean frap? Let’s figure out our internal balance point so that we may operate from a more centered place. Let’s stop giving people power over what is in our minds, hearts, and souls.

As Kasey Musgraves says in Follow Your Arrow “‘Cause you just get so many trips ‘round the sun”. She also says

“When the straight and narrow
Gets a little too straight
Roll up a joint, or don’t”

I think I will! I raise my joint to you, I wish you happiness, I wish you joy, and most of all I wish you wellness. Be proud of who you are and what you choose to do as your self-care. Remember to fill your cup as you fill everyone else’s. Truth is, as we show up more fully as cannabis moms (of all ages) the more we make room for other women, mothers, sisters, and daughters to make their wellness a priority. There are so many gifts we can impart on our kids, wellness, self-care, self-love, and let’s also share with them the gift of discernment. We don’t need to give a f*ck about everything, especially if we are good in our hearts with it.

Let Kacey share some wise words…

Kacey Musgraves — Follow Your Arrow (Official Music Video)

Joy doesn’t just sprout out of the ground like daisies and rainbows. Real, serious, lifelong fulfillment and meaning have to be earned through the choosing and managing of our struggles.

MARK MANSON

Remember, I’m not here to promise that cannabis is a miracle cure, but I sure as hell am going to share the many wonderful qualities of it! It may or may not be right for you specifically, and that’s totally okay too. If you have questions, though, ask them. Email or DM me!

As always, the information provided on Mary J’s Apothecary is for educational purposes only and does not substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult a medical professional or healthcare provider if you’re seeking medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment.

So, until our next sesh, stay well and stay elevated!

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